Those wacky Indians

Somehow, I think they missed the point when the health craze caught on.

OK, yes, cows are speeshul in India, but I don’t think trading high fructose corn syrup for, well, pee, is going to help anyone’s waistline or life expectancy.

No, I don’t care how healthy and magical and clean it is.  It’s pee.  Faced between drinking that and dying on the hospital bed, I choose croaking.

For your reading pleasure

The 10 worse car names ever.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to shower and then go buy a Isuzu Mysterious Wizard.

Good news for Windows/toast fans

Last night while I was up until midnight reading Ctrl+Alt+Del, this would have been very handy.  I’m taking about, of course, the idea of slipping a piece of bread into my computer and having it cook into toast in a matter of minutes, after which I would have consumed it and continued reading.

That is now a reality with the CrazyPC Bay Toaster which is important and cool enough to receive a mention in today’s newspaper.

The logic here is that many people have empty bays in their computers, or a floppy drive they don’t need, so the only logical alternative is to replace this dead space with a toaster.

Don’t worry: there is a crumb catcher so that bread pieces don’t fall into the computer and ignite it. AND there’s a heating duct to prevent the computer from overheating and THEN igniting.  AND there’s a Mac version coming soon for you losers.

Breakfast is served.

Holy inappropriate vintage toys, Batman!

Yes, because I’ve always wanted to squirt evil in the face with Batman’s Johnson.

Next month: Blogger Tycoon

…Unless they’ve already done it.

Seriously, something needs to be done about this Tycoon franchise.  I know we hound EA for making basically every concievable Sims game possible, up to and including “The Sims Pawn Shop Stuff,” but in the meantime, something’s slipped under our noses the whole time.

The Tycoon franchise is out of control.  While at the store a few weeks ago I saw this game being advertised on the shelf:

First of all: Lemonade? An entire game devoted to lemonade?  The only thing more boring than playing a game about lemonade would be creating a game about lemonade.

Secondly: Lemonade Tycoon 2?  The first one was popular enough to make another? The mind boggles.

Thirdly: New York Edition?  What does that mean?  If someone refuses to buy your lemonade, you flip him off and run him over in the street with a Buick?

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Stories that make you go, “Huh?”

Like this one.

Frankly, I don’t understand why the craft is dying out.  You’d think there’d be a huge market for ceramic organs.

“There were many people making ceramics, but now locally there is just us,” said Casilda. “We exported to Germany, Canada and France. Today we just sell to visitors and local shops.”

The sad thing is that while in Germany and France, I think I may have seen some of these things.  I’m still trying to erase the image from my mind with a Brillo pad.

Rain man

Just what I’ve been looking for: an umbrella that tells me when it’s going to rain!  Of course, if it’s not going to rain, you’re going to look like a dork for carrying around an umbrella.  But I suppose that’s a small price to pay.

Now I just need to wait for the parka that tells me when it’s going to snow.


An outfit calling itself Brookstone has created what it claims is an anti-snore pillow.  I don’t know the specifics behind the technology (my job is to report, not to learn), but I’ve always considered anti-snore technology to be a glass of ice cold water.

Inexpensive handsfree

If you’re like me and you want all things technological, then this is for you.  I have a Bluetooth handsfree and while it works, it simply doesn’t cut off circulation to the brain quite as well as this model does.

This handsfree should be available in stores later this month, or if you’re impatient, near the broccoli in your local supermarket.

Unleash the beast

Let your disabled friends off-road it.


…You NEED this ring.

Do-it-yourself crap

Assuming you want to make a naked person lamp. This probably wouldn’t make a good Mother’s Day gift, especially now that it’s a day late. You mom would smile and then heartily kick you in the shins.

Fun in the tub

Just when you thought there couldn’t possibly be any more uses for the LED light, you are reminded of the cliché, “Where there’s a will, there’s an over-priced plastic bathtub that glows in the dark.”

Food for thought

In one of the strangest cases of technology I can think of, NEC has invented a robot that can tell you, via infrared wavelengths, what, exactly, an “infrared wavelength” is.

No, what is actually does is far more annoying: it tells you what kind of food you’re eating. This would be incredibly useful if anyone really gave a rat’s bum.

Give your HDD an extreme makeover

Thanks to Grynx, you’ll be able to see the inner working components of your hard drive and immediately know when to defrag. Just replace the top of any drive with a piece of clear Plexiglas, and you will instantaneously become the world’s largest dork.