Those wacky Indians

Somehow, I think they missed the point when the health craze caught on.

OK, yes, cows are speeshul in India, but I don’t think trading high fructose corn syrup for, well, pee, is going to help anyone’s waistline or life expectancy.

No, I don’t care how healthy and magical and clean it is.  It’s pee.  Faced between drinking that and dying on the hospital bed, I choose croaking.

Video of the day

Five year olds shouldn’t be smokin’ the reefer.  Or maybe they should just avoid the dentist.

If the whales weren’t enough…

Now we have Klingons robbing convenience stores.

I am hereby upgrading the threat level to Mauve.

Whale-a-plenty

They may be prepping for an invasion.

UPDATE: It’s far worse than we thought.  Those damn whale terrorist unibombers. I encourage everyone to seek shelter (not that it will matter when the whale guts penetrate your abode and kill you) and become extremely alarmed and frightened.  Buy bleach and light bulbs just in case.

Bad economy forces some to choke chickens to make dough

You know it’s bad when it comes to this.

Though I would like to dispute this part of the story:

Cairo would not say how much a sperm donor can earn but added it’s not as easy as it sounds.

Uh, have you ever tried, sir?  Takes about a minute.  Pay and go.  You could even have a drive-thru.

Jenny, I got your number

Or, at least, someone will.

Frankly, while it’s a great song, I’d rather stick a marshmallow poker in my eye than have that as my personal number.  30 to 40 calls a day?   Plus any associated wrist slashing that may be involved?  No thank you.

Also think of the reaction you’d get if you gave someone your number:

You: Yeah, it’s 867-5309.

Hot Girl: Pigcrap, loser. What do you take me for?

You: No, I’m serious!

Hot Girl: Me too.  I’m becoming a lesbian.

And this story…

…is utter crap.