She should be a motivational speaker

This is an actual quote from my mom’s boss—something she said to her 2nd grade son after his Valentine’s Day party on Friday, which involves candy and chocolate passed out to all the students:

Just realize that every time you put sugar in your body, you’re killing it

The mom is 40.  She is deathly afraid of this age and is doing everything to remain young, to the point of pushing cruel and unusual eating patterns on her children.  Children that could, at their age, eat dirt and remain healthy.  But now they’re going to forever be afraid to eat anything because they’re being taught that food, essentially, kills slowly.

Dumb ass is as dumb ass does

D’oh!

Finally going to get a good night’s sleep

Ever since Saturday-ish (though I suspect it’s actually been longer and I just didn’t notice), my computer has been awaking in the dead of night in a zombie-like fashion, which wakes me up and forces me to make it go to sleep again.

I even tried putting it in Hibernate mode, which is essentially off, but the session is stored in memory.  It was awaken even from that, which means only one thing: Evil Spirits.

As I was having my room cleansed by a swami, it also occurred to me that this had been happening ever since I started using Media Center to watch TV on my computer.  So I did some digging on Google (Diggling? Doogling?  Googing?) and discovered the TV Guide automatically updates itself, but it does so at a random time, usually at night, and there’s no in-build way to change it.

Seems like a design flaw to me, what whatevs.  I don’t get paid millions of dollars to make logical decisions in regard to software.

So I disabled to automatic updates altogether and downloaded a third-party program that allows me to manually define update times.  Last night went off without a hitch or a wake-up, so I don’t think I’ll have this problem anymore.

PETA forces close on phone ad

I’m not fan of Verizon and basically indifferent to PETA, but I do not see a problem with this ad.  OK, the dogs (pit bulls) are in a reletively stereotypical role, since while the animals do have a penchant for killing and maiming things, not all of them do.  So I see that.  But PETA is for the “ethical treatment of animals,” which to me means physical treatment.  The animals (person included) are clearly not harmed.  Emotionally harmed, though—is that the argument?  That the dogs are in a stereotypical role?  I refuse to believe the dogs have sophisticated enough emotions to understand the role they were placed in (much less what “stereotypical” is), but regardless, PETA got 7,000 people to send letters to VZW and they pulled the ad.

Is there something unethical here I’m just not seeing?

Mars Attacks!

So of course the exciting news is that Mars has some form of water on its surface, which means it may potentially be a great natural habitat for simple, one-celled organisms, or possibly members of Congress.

Of course, this being America, and America generally being a blood-sucking leech, several Nebraskans have already figured out how to tap into this vast resource by building a pipeline from Earth to Mars, which—assuming there aren’t any obstacles thrown in the way such as asteroids or brain-eating aliens—should be completed just in time for my birthday in 3010.

“A private, state, federal funding partnership is likely,” they wrote.

Yes, I think this is a great idea and we should throw money at this concept immediately.

For the record I think—THINK—this is a joke.

Forget the nudists…

They’re creating a “black list?”

Why not a “white list?”  Huh?  Why must the BLACK list be connected with a NEGATIVE connotation?

And what about BLACK eyes?!  Why not BLUE eyes, since that’s what color they really are?  Or is BLUE not racist enough for you pigs??

😛 😉

I’m back! I think…

Well!

I get back from Vegas only to find out that while I was gone, a comedy of errors took place.

First, a lightening storm obliterated both the modem and the wireless router.  Then, my car’s Check Engine light came on.  Shortly thereafter, my dad’s car overheated.  Then a man who was supposed to fix the washing machine broke a copper pipe and nearly flooded the basement.  To dry the place out, my parents tried to use the dehumidifier, which instantly broke.

On the Internet front, the entire day I’ve been back has been spent trying to fix it.  It worked in the morning (apparently) but broke as soon as I tried to use it.  I managed to help fix it, but the signal wasn’t strong enough to reach my room, so we had to get another range extender (we had one, but it was of course incompatible with the security placed on the new router) in order to broadcast the signal into my room.

AND I have to go back to work tomorrow.  DO NOT WANT.

I don’t know when I’ll be able to check up on stuff.

On a positive note, Vegas was awesome.  I loved every minute.  Took some great photos and had some great times, so I’ll hopefully share all of those soon.

Oh, and I’ve picked out my new phone. 😉

Someone with too much time on their hands

I decided to do something today I never do: Go to weather.com and see what the forecast is.

While there, I noticed a link on the right-hand side that said: “Check mosquito activity in your area.”

They PAY someone to check mosquito activity?  How?  Some guy stands on the corner with meat sauce sprayed all over his body and is holding a ticker?

Anyway, the graph (yes, graph) is way too precise, measuring “mosquito activity” in increments of hours. Again, how the hell do they measure this?

And what is “Conditions may keep some mosquitoes at bay?”  What conditions and which mosquitoes?  Do flamethrowers constitute a “condition?”

Next month: Blogger Tycoon

…Unless they’ve already done it.

Seriously, something needs to be done about this Tycoon franchise.  I know we hound EA for making basically every concievable Sims game possible, up to and including “The Sims Pawn Shop Stuff,” but in the meantime, something’s slipped under our noses the whole time.

The Tycoon franchise is out of control.  While at the store a few weeks ago I saw this game being advertised on the shelf:

First of all: Lemonade? An entire game devoted to lemonade?  The only thing more boring than playing a game about lemonade would be creating a game about lemonade.

Secondly: Lemonade Tycoon 2?  The first one was popular enough to make another? The mind boggles.

Thirdly: New York Edition?  What does that mean?  If someone refuses to buy your lemonade, you flip him off and run him over in the street with a Buick?

Photobucket crap

Does anyone else’s Photobucket look really screwed up? Instead of a left-hand navigation column followed by several rows of pictures, everything is now spread out in a single column with only one column of photos smashed into the left-hand side of the screen at the bottom? WHY?? It looks terrible and is a pain to navigate. Who is responsible for this? To whom to we address the hate mail?

In other news…vacation pictures up top. At least that part of Photobucket doesn’t look like total crap.

Bleeerrgh

I just got done with four hours of CPR training and stuff for my summer job.

As boring as it was, it had its moments of hilarity, especially during the movies, which featured clearly under-competent actors attempting to be way too dramatic given the fact (a) there is no emergency, (b) they’re doing CPR on a dummy, and (c) they’re the only ones in the room.

So you get:

“Don’t worry, I’m CPR-certified! You!! Dial 9-1-1!”

And:

“The AED is charging! Stand clear!!”

Of course, during this, the “actors” are doing various hand gestures to illustrate “stand clear” and what not, so the end result is that they look and sound like Power Rangers.

It was a good night.

Heart attack on a plate

I just saw a commercial for some “Southern Fried Chicken Biscuit Something-Or-Other” for McDonald’s. Chicken I don’t mind—in fact, it’s the chicken meals I hate the least at McDonald’s—but this thing is intended to be eaten for breakfast.

Who wants chicken for breakfast? And fried chicken at that? Besides, possibly, a wolf?

No doubt Burger King or someone else will counter with a “Double Steak and Bacon Biscuit” breakfast sandwich before not too long.

Vader attacks!

There’s a whole lot of fail going on here.

I think the most important quote in this entire story is:

Hughes claims he was drinking heavily and can’t remember the assault.

I’m also startled by the statistics at the bottom of the story. I love sci-fi and “Star Wars” as much as the next guy, but apparently there are A LOT of nerds roaming around.

EA is FAIL

That is all I’m saying.

The legal system has failed…

…when someone who runs over someone else’s pet sues said pet owner for damages instead of the other way around.