Video of the day

Five year olds shouldn’t be smokin’ the reefer.  Or maybe they should just avoid the dentist.

One of these things doesn’t belong here

…One of these things does not belong.

See if you can identify the item!

All taken at a trip to Kohl’s about a month ago.

For your reading pleasure

The 10 worse car names ever.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to shower and then go buy a Isuzu Mysterious Wizard.

Check out the History Channel

They have a show on about poop. It’s called All About Dung.

No shit.

Read this linked headline…

…And don’t laugh.

Moment of genius

After watching a commercial for “The Bachelor” where Mr. British Hunk has to pick one teary-eyed women to be with for the rest of his life, or at least until the appearances on “Good Morning America” are over, I got a brilliant idea.

They seem to make way too big of a deal out of picking one woman and leaving the other one in a mascara-smeared mess as she’s shipped off to parts unknown in a limo.  I say, in the interest of fairness, Mr. British Hunk should be allowed to have BOTH women.  Yes, I’m proposing…”The Bachelor: Utah.”

I think this is a great idea, and I plan to pitch my idea to ABC immediately. I also plan to make a lot of money off this.  I’ll be sure to share it with all of you, assuming I remember all of you little people when I’m off in Hollywood.

Doo doooo doo doo doo

Manah, Manah!

Sorry, none of that here

Someone Googled “vasectomy” and navigated their way here.

I hope you found what you were looking for.

Freak.

UPDATE: A new one popped up: “wordpress themes+nazi.”  I hope you people die lonely deaths.

A fool-proof cure for boredom

So earlier today I wrote about how bored I was before finals.

Luckily for me, someone this blog automatically marked as spam named happy4life was around to offer their good-natured suggestion for how I should best overcome this slump in my daily routine:

“Beaten to Death with a Tire Iron?” Well, sure, I guess that would relieve my boredom pretty quickly. Depending on the exact content of the link, it may also cause me to be relieved of my lunch pretty quickly.

Needless to say, I did not click the link, nor is the irony of someone with the name of “happy4life” posting something about being beaten with a tire iron lost on me.

Florida lawmaker proposes vehicle vasectomy

Apparently Florida Senator Cary Baker has an acute case of reproductive envy given the recent proposal to ban novelty bull balls people dangle off their truck hitches.

There isn’t any mention as to whether real bull balls affixed to truck hitches would also be illegal under the legislation. My guess is no.

It really doesn’t matter, I guess, given the legislation will never pass…especially given Florida’s voting ineptitude.

Just a little something extra

I hope you’re all enjoying the little smiley face on the right-hand side of this blog.  Consider it a freebie.  No extra charge.  My gift to you.

Though donations are accepted.

Quite possibly the greatest blog ever

The FAIL blog.

Continue reading

Awesome speech

So, Pope Eggs Benedict Arnold XVII visited the U.S. a while back. I didn’t pay too much attention to the news coverage or what he said, but apparently he made an “awesome speech” if our fearless leader is to be believed.

Just make it stop thinking

I don’t have too many entertaining work-related stories because I no longer pull the midnight shift, which is when the socially awkward people appear in droves.

However recently, I had someone all in a tizzy as me if I would be able to make computer “stop thinking.”

Whaaaa?

I kind of knew what she meant; she was complaining that the CPU was being overtaxed and was freezing up, but it entertained me nonetheless.

I playfully suggested that she kick the computer, as the only way to forcibly stop a computer from “thinking” is to damage it.

Hopefully, she knew I was kidding.

So it turns out…

When you receive a text message that’s supposed to say “Can’t” but it doesn’t have puncuation, it looks really dirty at first glance.

Cant.