Mars Attacks!

So of course the exciting news is that Mars has some form of water on its surface, which means it may potentially be a great natural habitat for simple, one-celled organisms, or possibly members of Congress.

Of course, this being America, and America generally being a blood-sucking leech, several Nebraskans have already figured out how to tap into this vast resource by building a pipeline from Earth to Mars, which—assuming there aren’t any obstacles thrown in the way such as asteroids or brain-eating aliens—should be completed just in time for my birthday in 3010.

“A private, state, federal funding partnership is likely,” they wrote.

Yes, I think this is a great idea and we should throw money at this concept immediately.

For the record I think—THINK—this is a joke.

3 Responses

  1. I HOPE it’s a joke. We probably would have already colonized Mars by 3010.

  2. Too late. The brain eating aliens already got to those “several” Nebraskans it would appear.


  3. Indeed.

    And normally I would immediately pass this off as sarcasm and satire, but since this is a story about government, I’m not so sure.

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