What’s in a beverage?

I got called by a surveyor person. After five minutes into reading his script, he finally let loose with the information that he was surveying about beverages. I told him blankly that my parents drink Diet, and I drink anything BUT Diet.

The man let out a big sigh and told me that by “beverages,” he meant, of course, alcoholic beverages. I told him blankly, again, that we do not drink.

“You’re sure?” he asked. He actually had to ask as I’m sure he has never encountered a family like ours before.

“I think I’d know,” I replied.

Another big sigh. “Y’all have a nice evening.”

I think I broke his heart.

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