Those wacky Indians

Somehow, I think they missed the point when the health craze caught on.
OK, yes, cows are speeshul in India, but I don’t think trading high fructose corn syrup for, well, pee, is going to help anyone’s waistline or life expectancy.
No, I don’t care how healthy and magical and clean it is.  It’s pee.  Faced between [...]

Video of the day

Five year olds shouldn’t be smokin’ the reefer.  Or maybe they should just avoid the dentist.

If the whales weren’t enough…

Now we have Klingons robbing convenience stores.
I am hereby upgrading the threat level to Mauve.

Whale-a-plenty

They may be prepping for an invasion.
UPDATE: It’s far worse than we thought.  Those damn whale terrorist unibombers. I encourage everyone to seek shelter (not that it will matter when the whale guts penetrate your abode and kill you) and become extremely alarmed and frightened.  Buy bleach and light bulbs just in case.

Bad economy forces some to choke chickens to make dough

You know it’s bad when it comes to this.
Though I would like to dispute this part of the story:
Cairo would not say how much a sperm donor can earn but added it’s not as easy as it sounds.
Uh, have you ever tried, sir?  Takes about a minute.  Pay and go.  You could even have a [...]

Jenny, I got your number

Or, at least, someone will.
Frankly, while it’s a great song, I’d rather stick a marshmallow poker in my eye than have that as my personal number.  30 to 40 calls a day?   Plus any associated wrist slashing that may be involved?  No thank you.
Also think of the reaction you’d get if you gave someone your [...]

And this story…

…is utter crap.

This one…

…gets my full support.

Say it aint so; whered the apostrophe go?

I love England, especially when they do silly things.
With the amount of people who misuse apostrophes, Id be perfectly willing to remove them completely, if only to prevent people from looking like theyre total knobs.

Ain’t no grammarian

…But I say these people should be given an award.
Sure, they defaced national signs, but if you’re going to deface something, you may as well deface something while being educational and helpful at the same time.  If I were the government, I’d be embarrassed to have improper grammar and spelling on my signs.  I can’t [...]

Hey, Snigs

Assuming all Georgian males can’t be described as hairy and frozen, you may have new neighbors.

Dumb ass is as dumb ass does

D’oh!

Fish heads, fish heads

Worlly-borlly fish heads.

‘911? I’d like to report a moron’

Yes, apparently sub shop workers forgetting a man’s sauce is now an offense best left to the police.
I think it would be great it other things could be settled with police action.  In Omaha, we are already allowed to call 911 if there’s someone smoking in a public building or place.  I think this should [...]

Mars Attacks!

So of course the exciting news is that Mars has some form of water on its surface, which means it may potentially be a great natural habitat for simple, one-celled organisms, or possibly members of Congress.
Of course, this being America, and America generally being a blood-sucking leech, several Nebraskans have already figured out how to [...]